


Getting Better

by hondansadeensommar



Category: Produce 101 (TV), UP10TION, VICTON (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Medication, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 05:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19457665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hondansadeensommar/pseuds/hondansadeensommar
Summary: “Just listen, Seokkie… if I’m not in the ten, if I don’t get the X… you’re going to call me, okay?  Whenever your head is screwing with you, whenever you need to talk, you’re going to call my phone and you’re going to tell me what’s going on, right?” Jinhyuk asked.Wooseok nodded.  “I’ll call you.  But I’m not going to need to do that, because there’s no way that I’m going to make it and you won’t,” Wooseok replied.





	Getting Better

Wooseok felt someone sliding into his bed, wrapping an arm around his waist.It didn’t take him long to figure out that it was Jinhyuk joining him, despite the fact that they were no longer rooming together since they weren’t on the same team.Wooseok had gotten so used to Jinhyuk coming and crashing with him when the rapper’s group finished with rehearsals, it didn’t really surprise him at all to find Jinhyuk in his bed.Although Jinhyuk wasn’t the only one who would come crash with him - Jinwoo occasionally did the same, when he was having a particularly bad day - he was certainly the most frequent visitor Wooseok had. 

“Hey…” Wooseok commented softly, turning over so that he was face to face with the other man in the dark.

“How are you doing?” Jinhyuk asked softly.

Wooseok sighed, closing his eyes.He knew exactly why Jinhyuk had come to find him; Wooseok had admitted to Jinhyuk that the idea of sitting at the top of the pyramid terrified him during one of their many late-night conversations - something that had become commonplace after Wooseok had admitted that he was struggling with food again thanks to the stress of the competition.They had talked about a _lot_ of things in that time, but somehow it had always come back to Jinhyuk checking on Wooseok’s mental health.

“It isn’t as terrifying as I thought it was,” Wooseok replied.“It’s still a lot of pressure, but I feel better knowing that you’re up there with me.”

Even in the darkness, Wooseok could see the smile on Jinhyuk’s face.“I still can’t even believe that it’s real…” Jinhyuk admitted, shaking his head.“I didn’t think I had any chance of being in the top ten.Maybe the X, but not this…”

“ _Yah_ … you’re talented, and everyone who meets you loves you,” Wooseok replied.“You’re Lee Dongwook- _ssi_ ’s favorite, you know…”

“I’m not…” Jinhyuk began.

“He gave you a hug on stage, Jinhyuk- _ah_ ,” Wooseok replied.“He’s paying attention to you, and he’s purposely doing things to make sure that you get attention from the crew and the editors so that you end up in the final cut.And you deserve the attention, after everything you did to help your team during the position battles.If anything, you probably deserve to be the one sitting at the top of the pyramid…”

“You’ve worked hard, too,” Jinhyuk replied.“Not just here, either.”

Wooseok nodded, knowing that Jinhyuk was referencing the hiatus he’d taken from Up10tion to deal with his mental health issues.It had taken more than a year for Wooseok to feel confident enough in both the coping skills he’d learned in his therapy sessions and the medication regimen he’d established with his doctors to go back to work.And it had been hard going back - it had taken Wooseok a while to get back into the swing of things, because he’d gotten out of shape during his hiatus and the long hours and grueling work schedule were difficult to get used to again.But Wooseok had gotten through it with the help of Jinhyuk and the rest of his members, and he had been doing well before they had started the show.

“I just hope that none of that comes out,” Wooseok replied.“Maybe one day I’ll be able to talk about all of it publicly, and it’ll be okay.But right now, I don’t think I can handle anything else getting thrown out there…”

“You know I’ve got your back, no matter what happens,” Jinhyuk replied, stroking a hand through Wooseok’s hair.“Sunho- _hyung_ asked me how I thought that you were handling everything… if you needed anything…”

“I sort of figured that he would ask,” Wooseok replied, closing his eyes.“What did you tell him?”

“The truth… that you’d slipped the once, but that you were honest about it.That we’ve been talking almost every night.That you’re trying to push through when you probably need a med change,” Jinhyuk replied.

Wooseok sighed.He knew that Jinhyuk was right; despite the fact that his current rotation of medications had worked just fine when he had first come back to Idol life, Wooseok knew that the medications were no longer working well enough for him to keep going long-term.There had been signs for a while that things weren’t quite right, but Wooseok had been trying to push through in the hopes that it would all resolve itself without having to make any changes.Unfortunately, it was quickly becoming clear that wasn’t going to work.“As soon as the show is over, I’m going to talk to the psychiatrist,” Wooseok replied.“I just need to get through these last couple of things on camera.I can’t do a med change during the show… you know what it does to me…”

“But you are going to do it, right?” Jinhyuk asked.

“I don’t want to feel like this, Jinhyuk- _ah_ ,” Wooseok replied, sighing.“I can get through this… I’m not doing well, but I’m stable enough to finish this out.”

Jinhyuk pulled Wooseok tighter, pressing a kiss on the top of Wooseok’s head.“If I’m not there with you…”

“You _will_ be, though,” Wooseok replied.

“Just listen, Seokkie… if I’m not in the ten, if I don’t get the X… you’re going to call me, okay?Whenever your head is screwing with you, whenever you need to talk, you’re going to call my phone and you’re going to tell me what’s going on, right?” Jinhyuk asked.

Wooseok nodded.“I’ll call you.But I’m not going to need to do that, because there’s no way that I’m going to make it and you won’t,” Wooseok replied.

“There aren’t any guarantees, Seokkie…” Jinhyuk began.

“Maybe not… but I can’t help feeling like whatever happens, we’re going to be together,” Wooseok replied.“We were the top two in the second ranking announcement, even though we’re from the same company.That has to mean something…”

Jinhyuk sighed.“The votes are being reset… no one is really safe.Except maybe you, because you’ve always been at the top of the pyramid and you’re pretty much guaranteed to be the X if you somehow don’t make the final ten.”

Wooseok shook his head.“We’re both going to make it.I’m calling it now, we’re going to be in the final lineup together,” Wooseok replied.

Wooseok could feel Jinhyuk sigh.“I wish I was as optimistic as you are,” Jinhyuk replied.“I know I have a chance… but we both know I only made it to second because of the benefit votes.I’m not safe… you might be, but I’m not.”

Wooseok moved closer to the older man, letting his head rest against Jinhyuk’s chest.“We should probably go to sleep… tomorrow is going to be a long day, and we have a lot to do before the final stages,” Wooseok commented.“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“I should probably go sleep with my team,” Jinhyuk replied.“You’re good?”

“I’m good.Sleep well, Hyukkie.”

“Good night.”Wooseok moved to let Jinhyuk leave, watching his friend leave the room.Wooseok couldn’t help sighing, rolling over onto his back once Jinhyuk had closed the door.While he’d made plenty of new friends since joining the show, Wooseok missed the closeness he had with his Up10tion members.Having Jinhyuk nearby was comforting, but he still missed being surrounded by the nine men that had stood by his side through the worst year of his life, even when he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to come back to perform as an Idol.

Wooseok couldn’t help smiling as he felt another warm body curling into his side, wrapping his arm around Seungwoo as his friend moved to take Jinhyuk’s previous place.“You really are okay, right, Wooseok- _ah_?” Seungwoo asked softly, reaching up to stroke a hand through Wooseok’s hair in much the same way that Jinhyuk had a few moments earlier.

“I’m fine, _hyung_ ,” Wooseok replied, letting his eyes close as the older man played with his hair.“It’s been a rough few weeks, but things are getting better.”

“Get some sleep, Seokkie… we’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”


End file.
